Oh, you don't remember my status from April Fool's day? Well here's (basically) what it said: In keeping with my annual April Fool's Joke, I shall make the announcement that I am pregnant. In response to that joke status, I had a variety of comments from friends & family, all said in fun. We all got a little laugh out of it, and life went on..... until a few days later....
Yes, just a few days after April Fool’s day (April 5th to be exact), I got the jolt of a lifetime when that second little “line” appeared on the pregnancy test, and I took it to Rob and said, “Happy 9th Anniversary.” (Our anniversary is April 6th.)
I'd say it took us at least three weeks for the shock to wear off. In that time, I’d already had my confirmation from the doctor, as well as an ultrasound where we'd seen the truth and heard the heartbeat.
I’ve been very hesitant to reveal our little growing secret. In the beginning it was because my obstetrician was oh-so-full of all the warnings about how quickly things can go wrong with women in my age bracket. Did you know that women over forty miscarry 50% of the time? Did you know that women my age have a 1 in 42 chance of having a child with a genetic defect? And that’s not even including the compounded risk based on the age of the daddy. The list of warnings goes on and on. After a certain point, I just tuned out the doctor's warnings. All I could do was look at the ultrasound pictures in awe. Well, not "awe," exactly. "Shock" is a better description of what I felt.
Oh, and in case you are wondering, “AMA” does NOT stand for “American Medical Academy,” “American Music Awards,” “American Motorcycle Association,” or the style by which you should write and cite information in your college papers. Nope, it stands for “Advanced Maternal Age.” That's what's on my medical chart. But it's been there since Alex was born, so I don't pay it much attention. Age is just a number, right?
Why do doctors fret, though? Really.... God’s will is perfect, even when we don’t plan for it. God is in control. All the time. Period.
And so, despite the doctor quoting all the scary statistics about risks and women my age, and his encouragement not to get "too excited" yet, each appointment brought confirmation that the little one started inside me was a perfect gift. Each measurement was perfect; each test was “normal.” The doctor finally had to admit that this was “the perfect pregnancy.”
That didn’t surprise us much. Well, I should say it didn’t surprise Rob much. He’d had a dream that we were going to have a fourth child several months ago. Yeah, laugh if you want, but he said it was pretty clear. He didn’t even tell me til I got that second line on the little stick. I asked why he hadn’t told me about this dream earlier, and he said he just didn’t feel it was time to tell me.
God’s word says in Philippians 1:6 that “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” I know I’ve taken it entirely out of context, since I’m sure that Paul was in no way referring to babies in his letter to the Philippians. However, I am certain that this situation is a 1) good work, and 2) God will carry it through completion – using me as the incubator – for His good will. God “works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will … for the praise of His glory” (Ephesians 1:11-12).
Every good and perfect gift comes from above (James 1:17), so we embrace the gift that God has given us – this truly indescribable surprise.
You know, I’ve never really liked surprises. Let me tell you this, though: when God decides to surprise folks, He certainly does it up right! Sure didn’t see that one coming!
We quickly recalled that Alyssa Kate was quite a surprise, too, and she has brought us more joy than we could ever have imagined. I’ve never heard anyone say, ‘I sure wish I’d had one less child.’ Do you know anyone who has ever wished for a smaller family???
Even though the initial reason for waiting to share was the sheer shock of the news and the suggestion of the doctor to hold off until we passed a few prenatal developmental milestones, it really saddens my heart even to type out the real fear the kept me from making the announcement earlier. Typing it out means I’m admitting it. While some might think it is a ridiculous worry, it’s a very real fear for me....
My main reason for waiting to announce that we're having a fourth baby is the fear of what people would say about us behind our backs.
There, I said it.
Yes, that's been my main worry all along.
I know.... I know.... I have lots of dear friends, and I shouldn’t even worry about what some people - the minority - might say. My true friends would be thrilled for us, but I still worry.
See, for every dear friend who would support me and be thrilled for the news, there's another person out there who enjoys a good reason to "discuss" (aka, "GOSSIP about") others’ lives or talk about others’ decisions as if they could do better if given the opportunity.
A college friend recently posted on her Facebook wall this scripture: "Don't fool yourselves. Bad friends will destroy you. 1 Cor 15:33.” That could definitely apply here!
When I saw that post, I realized that I’ve been letting my fear of negative reactions of people around me dictate my level of joy about an incredibly joyous occasion! The worry about what "bad friends" think has destroyed my joy over a new baby in our lives! Why do we let things like that worry us???
Yes, I didn’t want to share our news because I knew there was a very big chance that people would have negative things to say to and about us, and I didn’t want to face it. The fear of what others think was outweighing the fear of the unknown about having FOUR children. And it was outweighing the wonderful miracle of a new life growing inside me.
But – guess what? We are expecting another baby. And folks who like to gossip can just kiss my hiney. We embrace this new chapter in our lives with overwhelming joy. If the folks around us don’t, well, should I really care?
Things will be tight for us, I’m sure. Four children to feed & provide for? And how on earth do you transport four children under the age of seven in a 12 year old Honda Accord? We have to consider childcare (when Rob finds a job – hopefully soon) and preschool for one more than we figured on. At least we have plenty clothes!! HA! (Good thing I didn't get everything ready for the consignment sale in time after all!! HA!)
After writing out all of this and admitting to my fears, I guess I have one thing to say. Talk amongst yourselves if you must. Criticize if you want. I have one thing to say: God says children are a heritage from the Lord – a reward from Him (Psalm 127.3).
You get a reward for doing something right, right? Apparently, we are doing something right to get so many rewards!
I haven’t blogged in a LONG time. Oh, there’s been plenty going on – I just haven’t taken the time to write out all that’s going on around here. This news definitely merited a blog post, though. Here’s the biggest 2011 blog news for the Childers household: As of June 20th, I am officially 15 1/2 weeks pregnant.
The due date is December 9th, 2011, and I'm hoping for a delivery date of November 30th (since I have to be induced).
And it’s a girl.
And her name probably won’t be set until two or three days after we get home with her from the hospital, since I’ve used my girl names I’d saved for many years....HA!
Side note: I'm looking for elegant-but-southern-sounding “A” names right now. Got any suggestions? Email me! LOL ;) And do I double-name yet another Childers girl??? LOL!!!
We - or maybe I should say “I” - wanted to wait to announce the news until after Father’s Day because I wanted my Daddy to be the first one to know. Somehow, daddies always end up on the sidelines for some momentous occasions, so I wanted him to get the news first.
So, for Father's Day, we gave my Daddy a frame with four openings and I put four pictures in it – Alex, Anna Claire, Alyssa Kate, and one of my most recent ultrasound pictures. Was he surprised? I just wish I could upload the video. (My computer is too old to do such a technologically advanced thing!) To begin with, he didn't realize what the fourth picture was, so Anna Claire explained that it was "our new baby." He and my Mama were thrilled, of course.
(Anna Claire & Alex later told Rob's mother our news, and Anna Claire called Rob's dad to tell him. Now that most of the immediate family knows, I can share with friends.)
My kids have known about the pregnancy for six days - since our latest ultrasound on June 14th. I am so proud of them for keeping it a secret for so long. Rob didn't think they could, but they've managed to keep it a secret while spending one night with my sister and her family, as well one night with Rob's mom! And they've been around my parents during that time, too!
Anna Claire is so excited she just about can't stand it. She has done a great job of keeping our secret, although it has been very difficult for her. Alex is excited, but admits he would have preferred a brother - not so much for himself, but so that Alyssa Kate would have a close-in-age brother to "protect" her like he has protected Anna Claire. (I told him that God apparently wanted him to be THE big brother to love and protect his little sisters, and that I didn't really think another brother could do as good of a job as he could in the eyes and heart of Alyssa Kate. After all, it was HIS prayers that got us Alyssa Kate in the first place....)
And his prayers for another Childers baby worked.... Again....
Yay for the Childers!! God is good. Congratulations! I remember our conversation on facebook & laugh!
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